A mistake everybody makes or made is going back with somebody because we think they have changed or they say they changed. If they say they changed then look how long it took them to change, it takes 21 days to fully build a habit, but if you see them trying you do your thing and go back with them if you want. I’m not an expert in relationships but I do have a lot to say. First thing I have to say, if a relationship don’t have trust then it don’t have anything. Without trust then their will be assumptions that can lead to unnecessary arguments.
The second thing to know is, you and your partner is against the problem not both of you against each other,let me explain if you don’t understand. For example I will use me, I love to work and at the end of the day I’m always tired so that would mean I can’t give my partner the attention she needs and she would mad at me because I’m giving her little or no attention at all. The problem is that I’m always tired and the reason for that is I am working too much. To fix that problem is to manage my time better, take a day or 2 off and mind yes she has to understand that I love to work in order for the problem to be resolved(I tried my hardest to explain).
Third thing you should know is that you shouldn’t only love somebody for their good because that’s easy. The real questions are: Can you tolerate their bad or can you handle their changes because we all know that change is inevitable. Fourth thing is, if somebody really likes you then they will change anything about themself for you and I’m sure you would do the same thing. You don’t need to constantly tell them or ask them to change something you dislike or can’t tolerate especially if they still want a relationship with you(this is the only exception I think you can change for anybody…because you love them or like and we would do anything for him/her.
Dangerous Mistake
For all those people who don’t like or love themself, this is my opinion, I don’t think it is wise to go into a relationship because the love,attention,affection and many other things you are giving that person are things you should be giving yourself. What will happen if the relationship ends then you will be worse than ever or if you end the relationship then there will be two broken people. If you don’t love yourself then there is a somewhat chance that you would want to depend on that somebody for that love which will make you vulnerable.
If the relationship makes you question yourself for who you are and your opinions…leave instantly. Express yourself and it leads to an argument big red flag especially if everytime. Don’t test your partner, what’s the point of being with them if you think they might cheat on you,if they do cheat on you boo hoo for them they lost someone special. Body and appearance is very replaceable, what’s on the inside is very rare and hard to find, makes absoulety 0 sense being a female with plenty body and treat you horrible or with a man with 6 packs and abuse you. If you can’t build with them then that relationship has no purpose unless you using them for their body. Actions are way louder than words, watching their words and compare it to their actions. People change when they get comfortable.
Don’t lower your standards for nobody, let them come up to it. Don’t let good memories of a good relationship be the reason to go back with them. Because the first reason you left could be the second or third or fourth.
All relationships are suppose to help you, make you push forward, encourage you when you are at your lowest. Be there through good and bad understand why you would do or say something(doesn’t mean they will agree) and anything else that you think should be in your relationship. If if doesn’t have any of the above why are you still in the relationship? Just because they have been there through your bad doesn’t mean they deserve your good some people can be there because they wanna say they did this and that for you and make you feel victim. Also it doesn’t mean they treat you nice, they could help you through your and still treat you horrible.
If somebody doesn’t see your worth or what you put in the relationship leave. They are only going to see it when they do not have it, and don’t let them victimize you into staying “Look at how you give up already”, “If you love me you will stay”,”You never really loved me” and so many more. Trust how you feel on the inside it will save you from a lot of hurt on the inside unless you just assuming. A relationship only works if two people puts in the effort not one. Anything done once can happen again, you need to remember this(only when it happens then you will know what I mean).
Hopefully I was able to help somebody in their relationship or help the relationship on a whole… at least I was able to do something your relationship I couldn’t do for mine.
KesiQuotes 